Darkness of thoughts and flowers
by Verocat
Summary: When Russia gets into an accident in summer, Lithuania saves him and looks after him. Russia can't see because his eyes are badly hurt, and he starts to live only in a world of thoughts... Russia/Lithuania. Enjoy! Ch.11 is UP!
1. Chapter 1

_**AN:**__Well, another fic about Russia. There will be Russia/Lithuania later... Enjoy and read! That's the first chapter, and I think I'll update soon!_

_**Disclaimer: **__If I owned Hetalia, every nation would become one with Russia (hihihihihi).

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One sunny day in June, when it was very hot, Russia decided to go for a walk. He put on his boots and went out, smiling as always.

That morning, he had a reason to smile: China was going to leave his land and come to him. It was good, he thought, because he wouldn't be alone for a whole summer! Even his annoying sister Belarus seemed to forget about him at last. Isn't that great? So Ivan smiled happily and went picking flowers on the way.

That day, the path leading to his house was rather short. Russia soon came to a field full of fresh grass and flowers, with sunflowers, of course. Ivan felt so happy that he jumped in the air crying, then threw himself on the grass and looked at the sun. The flowers and the grass trembled around him. The clouds flew across the sky.

At the moment, Russia got mixed up in his feelings. The sunflowers made him feel warm. Everything was full of summer freshness. And the noise that the wind made... Ivan loved this noise. Nearly paradise!

But...

"Vanechka-aaa!" - somebody shouted. Russia looked at the sky. There she was, his fidgety younger sister! Belarus waved to him from the helicopter, and it looked like she was coming down.

"Kolkolkolkol", - thought Russia, as he usually thought in such situations and slipped away. He ran, ran and ran, but wherever he went, he always heard this "Vanechka!". Then Ivan decided to run as fast as he could and not thinking where he went...

The place he reached was the taiga, deep forest which filled Russia's guests with fear. But Russia went there, despite its impassability. He met big twigs, branches, a lot of fallen trees, but, thanks to his legs, Ivan found a plase to hide and sat down there.

"Passed", - he thought at first. He closed his eyes and imagined big sunflowers, trembling, warming, calming...

"Vannechka-a!"

Ivan shrieked and jumped. He touched some sharp branch and shrieked again. The nation waved his arm, eventually lost his balance and fell from the log he was sitting.

And the thing that happend next was terrible.

Russia fell into a swamp, which dragged him inside like a whirlpool, that's why Ivan couldn't ухватиться on anything. Russia cried, but no one could hear him. He got deeper and deeper, slowly falling into the devouring darkness.

"Wake up! Please wake up!" heard Ivan, but couldn't open his eyes.

"Eh... What happened? - he asked quickly. - Why I can't open my eyes?"

"You fell into a swamp, poor one, - answered some voice. - But I saw your faucet, fortunately, and you was gotten out. Your eyes were badly hurt, there were a lot of snags in that swamp, so I thought it's better to put a bandage on them. They will hurt for a week, I think".

"Ah, I remember, da, - weakly said Russia. Everything hurt in his body. - Is China already here?"

"No, I've heard he had some business and told he's coming next week".

Next week! That was a lot to Ivan.

"And who are you? I have bad memory for voices", - asked he rather dissapointed.

"Lithuania. Don't say you've forgotten me!"

"And why're you not with Felix?" - Russia was surprised.

"Oh, he doesn't mind! He went to America for some party. As for me, I don't like such things. Besides, Belarus made me drive the helicopter. When she saw what has happened to you, she went to buy something that will make your mood rise".

"How caring, - said Russia. - Would you please bring me some vodka, Toris? It hurts everywhere".

"I'd love to but I can't, - said Lithuania sady. - Belarus poured everything out on the ground. She doesn't like alcohol".

"Kolkolkolkol, - sweared Ivan. - Then make some tea, please".

"OK", - Toris went out. Russia turned on the another side.

Darkness, he thought. But Ivan smiled a little.

He imagined sunflowers.


	2. Dream 1

_**AN: **__Writing this at 1 a.m. Moscow time, when no one has reviewed this, but thanks a lot to the people who read this! Enjoy and read!_

_**P.S:**__ I don't own Hetalia, and sorry for the thoughts of Ivan, they're f__ragmentary. But that's because Russia is still half without his mind. Lots of Russia's POV._

_

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_"Russia-san? Tea" - he heard the voice.

Ivan rose in the bed and held his hands to take the cup. Thank God, Russia could orientate in darkness.

"Thanks, Lit, - he said a little later and drank the tea. It pleasantly gave out warmth from the inside. - You can go now"

Russia heard the footsteps of a person going away. He put the cup on the floor, as he thougt, and decided to go to sleep.

And so he did.

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Sunflowers, a sea of sunflowers... He could see them now clearly... It was a field again... A vast one...

Russia raised his hands to the air.

Someone sang a song of his childhood.

That voice... He wished he could remember it... Ah! It was Ukraine... The time they were together...

He runs to her, smiling...

Ah, it's only a dream. Nothing at all. Still hurts everywhere... God...

Someone singing... Toris of course...

I'd better call him...

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_**AN: **__I know that sucks, but that's because my mood is like in Mayakovsky's poem:_

_"It turned that -_

_Before it begins to sing,_

_They walk for a long time, being made callous of f__ermentation,_

_And flounders quietly in the scum of the heart_

_A silly Caspian roach of imagination._

_Thanks for reading this and hope you'll read the continuation! Chuu!_


	3. Dream 2

_**AN: **__First, I wanna thank people who reviewed this or added it to favourites: __orangefigure, Lucky-Angel135 and WhiteFrost. All remarks are taken into account. Enjoy and read:).

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"Err... Liet, - called Russia quietly, then louder. - Liet!"

Toris soon heard him and came into the room.

"Take the cup away please, I don't want anymore", - asked Ivan.

Lithuania hurried to do this.

"Anything else, Russia-san?" - he ssked.

"Just sit for a while with me, OK?" - Russia and smiled a little. - I think you're lucky".

"Lucky? - wondered Toris. - Why?"

" First, you don't have Belarus always chasing you. Second, you aren't lying in a bed with a head now. And you haven't lost some of your memories. I don't even remember what color your eyes are: blue or green".

"They're green", - reminded Toris.

"Anyway, it doesn't matter, - continued Ivan, - I remember they are beautiful".

Lithuania smiled, though Russia wouldn't see it anyhow. "Thanks, Russia-san" - he said.

"Da, you don't speak much today, - remarked Vanya. - I'll try to sleep again".

"Then... then I'll go, - said Lithuania quickly, walked away and quietly closed the door.

Ivan smiled and fell asleep.

Then he heard a cry of pain.

A naked, bleeding body was lying on the floor.

The Russia heard the cry again.

He wanted to touch the body, but he couldn't. Even in the dream Ivan couldn't think clearly.

The cries repeated more often and louder.

There was a whistle in the air...

And Russia felt hot and a lot of pain on his back.

The pain grew bigger and bigger, it seemed that his back would burst soon.

He heard the cries... And felt the ache...

"Russia-san? Russia-san? I heard you crying. Something happened.

"That was a dream, - breathed out Russia. - I suppose I won't drop off to sleep this night. Please stay with me".

"OK".

Lithuania sat on a chair next to a bed and looked at the poor Ivan.

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_**AN: Fff, **__I think this chapter is up. It's 1:48am, and I have to wake up at 8. I'll update soon!_


	4. Матушка Русь

_**AN: **__First, sorry I didn't update before. But, here's the new chapter! Unfortunately, my muse is in big depression now, but I make her to write this._

_**Thanks to: **__ A.I.R., and AnamayCrystal. I still keep trying to write something.

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"It must be horrible to be in such condition", - said Toris.

"Of course, you idiot!" - thought Russia and weakly moaned from his headache. His pain sometimes grew bigger, sometimes decreased. And was it really pain, or he is dreaming as usual? Ivan was lost in his doubts.

"Are you real?" - he asked suddenly.

"I suppose so", - said Lithuania, readjusting the old, tattered blanket.

"Just thought", - said Russia quietly and stretched out his pale, big hand to the Lithuanian. Slowly, he felt the other hand in his own and held it tightly. It was nice, sensing somebody's hand, touching it, calming yourself... He could't remember, when was this the last time..? When he was with Ukraine? No, not then, the hand was different. Belarus? He can't remember such thing. Then who? Not China, of course.

Ivan slightly remembered the atmosphere of that day. There was sun, shining specially this day,a golden field, well, there was a lot of such fields in Russia's memory, er, some birches, that's all, and the heat, maybe... Боже, the memories are so tangled after the accident!... But, it seems all's remembered... Maybe it is... Kievan Rus, his mother? Who knows, it was such a long time ago, his early childhood. But, Ivan thinks, he has kept something from that time in his mind. A song, beautiful Russian song...

Russia thinks he lies on the field, one of them, hearing the noise of the wind. Someone sits nearby, strokes his blonde hair and slowly hums a sweet melody... A very familiar melody...

...Suddenly, he heard some words in Lithuanian and came to himself.

"T-t-toris, - Ivan asked, - were you singing?"

"Yes, that was me, sorry if I disturbed you, - he heard the answer, somewhere far.

"No, no, that's alright, you've just reminded me of something... By the way, thank you for taking such good care of me. You must be tired. You can go now".

"Oh, really, I don't feel like sleeping at all, Russia-san, I wanna clean everything in this room, but will I bother you?"

"That's quite right, you can, of course, - said Russia and hardly turned on the other side.

Ivan hoped he would sleep well.

But, alas, with some reason, he dreamt only about some horrors, though he had never seen a horror movie before (da-da!).

Those dreams quickly spread over Russia's mind and didn't let him go.

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_**AN: **__Yeah, I know it's SHORT, but I keep on trying (depressed). Updating soon, I promise._

_**NEW: **I cant upload the next part((((. Fanfiction says I have some limit.  
_


	5. Chapter 5

_**The author thanks: **__а) __WhiteFrost and A.I.R., who reviewed. b) AnamayCrystal, who added this story to her alert._

Why didn't all the horrors of his life get out of Russia's head? Ivan didn't know. Once, he had read in one of his books that bad memories are like a splinter that wasn't removed by a surgeon, which first hides deeply inside, then, after some time passes, spreads through all his body, destroying important things.

And now, Russia realized it was true.

That night, his dreams were only about one scene, people, standing naked outside in Russian winter, thin like skeletons, with still hoping eyes. Slowly, surrounded by soldiers, they reach the old wall of some building and stand there, still hoping for the best. Trembling of frost, they wait.

Someone very tall is standing at a distance. Only seeing the shine of his violet eyes, Russia recognizes himself, though he can't understand why he's smiling.

Ivan looks at the faces of the people. Dose he remember anyone of them? No, not at all. He scrutinizes and scrutinizes in them, but hopeless. Then, he is interrupted by the voice of one soldiers, reading. He reads quietly, and Russia can't hear anything, even the names of poor people.

His dream copy wags.

Series of shots were heard through that place.

Ivan closed his eyes. He didn't want to see the dead people, he's always sick of it, though he's seen a lot of corpses in his life.

Then he decided to open his eyes.

He saw his copy again, but now sitting at the table and opening a bottle of vodka.

That's why that episode was forgotten, Ivan guessed. He waked up, turned on the another side of the bed and goes asleep again. Every time Ivan fell asleep, he saw the dream again and again, all the same, but with different faces.

Finally, Russia couldn't bear it anymore.

"Toris! Toris! Are you still here?" - he called.

"Y-yes, Russia-san" - he heard.

"Listen, leave everything and please pick up any book you like from the bookcase, do you hear me?"

"And what's next?" - Lithuania asked.

"Please sit here and read it to me" - asked Ivan.

He heard the noise of the chair moving up to the bed and rustling of the pages.

"Eh, Rus-sia san, I think I've forgotten how to read in Russian" - Toris says quietly.

"Try to read anyway, please", - Ivan begs. He can't do anything now, that's why he said only that.

Rustling of the pages is heard again.

Toris reads:

"Януш Корчак. Король Матиуш Первый".

The author of the book is Polish, but Ivan doesn't care.

_**AN: **__"Януш Корчак. Король Матиуш Первый". -"Yanush Korchak. King Macius the First"._

_Get ready for Russia/Lithuania in the next chapter._


	6. Chapter 6

_**AN; **__Sorry I didn't update for a long time, (nearly for a week! Aaagrh!) I had some other things to write, and it was VERY urgent. But now, here's the new chapter!_

_**Thanks to: **__A.I.R., who reviewed, and __Albinokitten, who reviewed and added the story to her alert. Also, thanks to my friend Mikoto-chan and kuroneko-nya from for their support!

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Lithuania's voice was soft and calm as he was reading.

Russia lay silently in his bed, afraid of interrupting Toris. But, to be honest, Ivan wasn't really listening, he just caught some thought from the text, and then it developed in his mind, only after that he would listen to what Lithuania is reading.

_"My biggest mistake is that I was proud._

_Can a king love all his people, or he only wants to be praised, and that's why he's kind?_

_Can we love the people we don't know? "_

Wise words, Ivan thought. It always seemed he knew everything, but all his plans were ruined in a few days. No, he didn't know the thoughts and feelings of the other people, but he thought he did.

That's why all later troubles came.

_"In the past, my Macius, you did what you had thought. Now, you have decided only to think and nothing more. And a man must have some thoughts for himself, and some for the people._

_So, it comes out that the person must lie? I know, it's not true, but I don't understand. Maybe because I'm too little"._

Russia didn't understand it too. In fact, he still had a soul of a child in a grown-up body. O a grown kid. How everything is difficult!

Tens of tears ran over his face when he heard some phrases, the first time for the last ten years. But Ivan cried silently, as he always cried. The face was turned against Lithuania, so Toris realized it only when he stopped reading for a second remove his eyes from the book to have a rest a little and saw the pillow was wet.

"Rus-ssia-san? - he said, astonished. - What happened?"  
Toris heard nothing but silence.

"Toris, - said Russia with a constrained voice, - if everybody left you, everyone who seemed to be your friends turned the back of you, and it couldn't be worse, what would you do?"

"R-realy? I... I don't know, - thought it over Lithuania. - But I would hope for the best, I think"

"Is that all? - wondered Ivan. - And more specifically, what would you do?"

Toris set his head. "I don't know, - he said again after some time. - I have never been in such situation".

Russia smiled through tears. Lucky Lithuania. He still doesn't know. He had never gone through it. And, Ivan remembered, he also had such looks on life, when everyone left him. That time, he only smiled and drank a lot of vodka, waiting for something. But if Toris got into such situation, he wouldn't have any vodka; Lithuania doesn't drink alcohol at all...

Russia collected in his strength within, trying to overcome the pain and folded his arms about the brown-haired nation.

"Toris, - he said, - only you understand me now. Don't leave me alone, please, do you hear that?"

"Never", - said Lithuania calmly, holding the larger nation in his arms. That moment lasted for a long time, and none of the two men stopped it.

The door quietly opened.

"ВАНЕЧКААА-ААААА!"

Belarus ran into the room and saw everything that happened there. Then she quickly walked towards Lithuania and moved the knife to his neck.

"Leave him, пожалуйста, Наташенька", - asked Russia weakly.

"YOU CALLED ME "Наташенька"! ВАНЕЧКА, Я ТЕБЯ ЛЮБЛЮ!" - Belarus switched her attention to Ivan at once, left Toris and began to hug her dear brother.

"Be careful, Belarus, you can stifle him, -advised quietly Lithuania. - It's good you have come. His condition leaves much to be desired".

"Thanks for caring about Ванечка", - said Belarus, putting Ivan to bed again.

"Please, go and make something for us", - she told Toris, who obeyed her.

When Natalya and Russia were left alone, Belarus closed her eyes with her hands and cried.

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_**AN: **__"Пожалуйста" - "Please"_

_"Я тебя люблю" - "I love you"_

_Sorry if this chapter wasn't OK at all, I've drunk one glass of champaign on my aunt's birthday and now I'm drunk! But I'll update tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, I promise!_


	7. Flowers

_**AN:**__ Phh, at least I'm __sober now! And here's a new chapter, enjoy (though the most people must have gone somewhere!) _

_**Thanks to: **__KrissyRocksOutLoud, who added the story to her alert.

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"Why are you crying? - didn't understand Russia. I'll come to the scratch next week, everything will be healed, so don't worry, please"

"It's my fault... It's my fault, - repeated Belarus, sobbing. - I... I didn't expect this to happen... Vanechka..." - and she sobbed again.

"Calm down, Natasha, - tried to console her Ivan. - It was me, I didn't look where I was going".

"You? You just accidentally fell into a swamp, that's all! Don't blame yourself!"

"There are some things of my life you don't know, Natasha; - Russia smiled a long and dreamy smile. - Take my hand, please".

Belarus hurried to do it immediately.

"Oh, I forgot, I've brought you sunflowers! I'll get them in a second!" - remembered Natalya and went out.

...Sunflowers, then, Ivan thought. OK, the more there are, the better it is. He has always wanted to find himself in a warm place, surrounded by the sunflowers. Now, the dream can finally come true, though Belarus didn't know about that dream. Toris didn't tell it anybody. Or did he?

Fragmentary thoughts flew through Russia's mind. Ivan couldn't concentrate on anything because of overexcitation. He just madly smiled.

"Вот, братик. Sunflowers", - Vanya heard and felt something nice fall the bed.

"Спасибо", - he smiled.

Natalya wanted to say something, but a mobile phone rang in her pocket.

"Sorry, Vanechka, I have some urgent business. Love ya!" - And Belarus went into her country.

Russia just smiled happily. Though he couldn't see, he felt the same as there wasn't any bandage on his eyes. The flowers had a wholesome effect on him, and the bad dreams were forgotten for a while.

Toris quietly entered into the room.

"Ah, flowers, - he smiled. - So... Your dream has come true, hasn't it?"

"Da", - Ivan just said this word.

"How are you now, Russia-san?" - he asked.

"I don't know. The sunflowers overshadowed everything, so I don't feel my body now".

"Anything you want?" - questioned Lithuania.

"No, I'm already satisfied. But... can you sit with me?"

"Of course, Russia-san".

Seeing Ivan in a good temper was quite a rarity.

_**AN: **__"Вот, братик" - "Here, brother"_

_"Спасибо" - "Thank you"

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_I think it's quite like a filler chapter, but at least Russia hasn't got any bad dreams for a here:). Thanks for reading it! See you soon!_


	8. Chapter 8

_**AN: **__No one has reviewed, but here's a new chapter anyway. Thanks for reading this! Enjoy!_

_Every time I look at the statistics, I see many visitors of this. But, alas, the biggest part of them, like me, keeps silence. And, as it seems to me, I'll stop keeping silence earlier than them.

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"Toris, - said Russia, - do you sometimes have dreams?"

"Dreams? You know well I do! Did you forget the day you told me you wanted to get in a place with sunflowers?" looked at him Lithuania strangely.

"I've forgotten things more important than that, you know, - smiled Ivan. - And what are your dreams?"

"Um..., - faltered Toris. - I can't tell you, Russia-san. They're private".

"Private, huh? - said Russia. - Так я и думал.

"Eh?" - Poor Lithuanian could say only that.

"Da don't be surprised, I know everything", - suddenly smiled Vanya. That was sudden, because before his smiles were true and warm, but now that was a usual, cold smile.

"Everything? I don't understand you", - Toris got completely confused.

"You needn't, these are just my thoughts, - laughed Ivan but not like ordinary people laugh. - And, why do you care about me now, а? Зачем?"

Lithuania didn't speak. Actually, Belarus made him to do this. But if he hadn't wanted to do it, he wouldn't have done it, and he even wasn't afraid of Belarus. So, Toris did it at will. But all that Lithuania thought was so difficult that he just couldn't explain it to Russia...

"Gosh", - the word escaped him.

"I don't get it. Please be more exact", - asked Ivan coldly.

Toris opened his mouth, but couldn't say the words. Then, curt, incoherently, he started to talk, sometimes his voice to a shout, and then sank to a whisper. He told Russia that no one could understand him, and he got carried away. The tirade lasted for several minutes, and all with a flushing face.

After several minutes, Ivan couldn't stand it, dramatically sait in the bed and stopped Toris' mouth.

"That's enough, Toris, don't speak anymore, or I'll retire into myself. Did you know... that I dreamed about us recently?"

Lithuania fidgeted, and then fell into Russia's arms.

Ivan silently stroked Toris' long brown hair.

They didn't understand each other in some way, but at the same time they could reach each other's thoughts.

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_**AN: **__Ah, it's raining in Moscow now, hooray, and it's nearly 4 p.m. The next part will be soon!_


	9. Silencio

_**AN:**__Привет, my silent readers! Sorry for not updating earlier! I'm staying in Spain right now, so I can publish a chapter only once a week. Sorry if I don't review your stories, I don't have much Internet here. I'll review when I get back. _

_**Thanks to: Gemini Artemis**__, who reviewed._

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That moment was so romantic that it could last for hours, but it finished, as all good comes to an end. They stopped, and Lithuania stood up with a red face. He looked in the pace in front of him, as if he looked at it in the microscope.

"I'm v-very sorry, Rus-s-sia-san", - Toris said, keeping blushing.

"That's alright, - said Russia with a calm normal voice, first time for a week. - Every person loses his temper. Me, for example".

Lithuania kept silence, not knowing what to expext. The talk didn't start, and Ivan asked:

"Why is it so quiet in here? You're still here, Toris, da?"

"Ну... Da..." - answered his friend irresolutely.

"Then why aren't you talking?"

"And what can I say? - wondered Lithuania. - I don't know that thing"

"Just speak, Toris, speak, - asked Russia, - I don't want any silence. Besides, I love it when you're talking".

"Nu, I'll say just what I'm thinking about, - spoke the Lithuanian. - America phoned me"

"Alfred? To you? What did he say?" - started Ivan. He thought America would phone _him, _but not Lithuania.

"That was about Poland. Felix got very drunk at the party and made lots of things I don't even want to tell you. America asked me to take him home, but I refused because I'm here now, - explained Toris guiltily.

"Why? He's your friend, you should help him. He must feel badly right now, so you have to go to America".

"No, Russia-san! I can't! - began to protest Lithuania. - I can't leave you alone, you're in such condition now, something can happen to you! And I promised you never to leave you!"

"But I don't mind if you help Poland, and, again, you must certainly help him! I'll try to sleep, so nothing can happen to him! Get ready for leaving!"

Millions of thoughts ran through Toris' mind, but he decided not to tell them to Ivan, they were private. The only thing he said was: "Of course, Russia-san. Maybe... I'll go now?"

"Don't ask silly quetions, Liet! Of course, da!"

Lithuania stood up and went to the door without a sound. Silence was unbearable, and a fly could be heard in these minutes. In these few minutes, Russia had suddenly changed, unexpectingly for himself.

"One more thing before you go, Toris, - Ivan said to break the silence, knowing the smaller man is still here. - Kiss me".

"He really lost his minf now, - thought Lithuania. - I feel sorry for him".

And he gently placed a kiss on Ivan's strangely hot forehead.

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_**AN: **__Sorry for a short chapter! That's because it's the night of July, 16th, and that's my birthday! Happy birthday to me!_


	10. Chapter 10

_**AN: **__Hi! Millions of apologizes about the thing I haven't published any chapters before. I have Internet only in my college, (Collegio Maravillas, and I'm gonna be there till the 9th of August) and only 2 times a week. The computers there are REALLY BAD. When I wanted to publish a chapter, first I didn't find a computer with a hole for a flash card. The second free computer worked well, but the mouse didn't work. And the third free computer had a hole for a flash card, but the hole didn't work! Half of our computers are broken, that's why I only publish it now. Enjoy (if you will, I think I've lost my talent)!_

_**Thanks to: **__Miguel Rihter from my colledge fot telling me some facts about Estonia, to NikkaTheSavior, who put my story to alert, and to Lucky-Angel135, who reviewed._

Lithuania carefully checked if all the doors and windows of Russia's house were closed and locked the front door. He breathed in, breathed out and made some steps. Then Toris stopped in indecision.

No, he couldn't leave Ivan alone. He just couldn't. That guy could do anything during Lithuania's absence. He wouldn't go.

And... Something really made Toris think he was responsible for Russia, even after everything. There was always a чувство of caring in the soul of poor Lithuania. "Душа ждала кого-нибудь1", as the violet-eyed nation would say. But this чувство didn't проявиться when Toris was with Feliks, which was very strange. Everything that happened recently was strange. But that was natural: feelings are always difficult, and the nations' thoughts are more difficult than we have...

"Ах, зачем я на свет появился, ах, зачем меня мать родила2", - Lithuania heard suddenly the song.

"Who's that?" - he shouted.

"Estonia", - the answer came, and the voice's owner rose from the bushes.

"What're you doing here? - wondered Toris, quite surprised. - Don't say you were just going to visit Ivan!"

"But I did! - objected Eduard loudly. Can't you believe me?"

"Then why are you here? I thought you didn't like Russia", - became more and more surprised the Lithuanian.

"I don't really like him now, Lithuania, - began to explain Estonia. - I just wanted to see Ivan, I think he's not OK now. Besides, he has made a lot to me before I became independent, I don't know what I would be without him".

"But why did you remember it only now, you didn't respect him like that before?" - asked Toris with a bit of distrustfulness.

"I just understood it now, can't you get it! - nearly screamed the Baltian. - I think we all owe a lot to him. And, after all that occured in the last few days, I guess I got it how everything is now".

"Ah, right. And why were you singing now in Russian?" - questioned Lithuania. Actually, he wanted to say a lot to Estonia, but every minute Toris reminded himself he had to do something. He still didn't knew which thing to choose: to go to America or to stay with Ivan.

"Just singing. I heard Russia singing this song many times, - smiled a little Eduard. - You'll possibly ask me now why I was hiding in bushes. I thought you have already gone to America, Latvia told me so. I just couldn't enter the house without permission".

"I was just going to leave, - smiled Toris too. - You can go inside if you want to, but please be careful. Ivan is delirious"

"Don't worry so, I won't let you down! - Estonia clapped Lithuania on the shoulder and opened the door to Russia's house. - Well, bye for now!"

"Goodbye", - said Toris and began to walk. Although he didn't want to leave Russia, he had to. The helicopter was waiting for him. Lithuania turned around, and went inside it.

* * *

"Ah, that's you, please come in! - said America smiling some hours later when he saw Toris on the пороге. - Poland is in the sitting room on the sofa, sleeping. Shall I wake him or not?"

"Thanks, but I'll take him sleeping, - refused Lithuania. - I don't want to bother him". He wanted to go immediately to the room and take Felix away right now.

"Oh, don't worry, you can take him later! - stopped him Alfred. - I think you're tired. How about some coffee?"

Lithuania didn't answer.

"Silence is the sign of agreement, - stated the American. - Let's go to the kitchen!"

Toris realized it's late to refuse now and quickly obeyed.

In the kitchen, America put the water to boil and offered Toris a hamburger. After the other nation's refusal, Alfred put it in his own mouth and started to talk.

"So you're with Russia now, right? - he asked. - You're not lucky, I think. How is he?"

"Very bad, - answered Lithuania, remembering he has to return to Ivan as soon as possible. - But I think he'll be better soon".

"Ah, great, - said America and went to put the cups out the cupboard because the water had been boiled. - Here's your coffee".

"Thanks", - said Toris and tried to drink as fast as possible, but the coffee was quite hot and it took him several minutes to do it. When he had drunk it at last, he quickly washed the cup as he usually used to do, dried it, put it where it usually stood, thanked America and nearly ran to the sitting room. Felix was still asleep, and Lithuania carefully carried him out of Alfred's house and placed the body into the helicopter.

"I got him! Go back, quickly, please!" - he shouted to the pilot, waving to Alfred. Toris couldn't wait for coming home, worrying about everything.

* * *

When Toris left, Ivan tried to relax, but he couldn't.

Vanya couldn't stop thinking about Toris. He would ask Lithuania when he comes back if he was alright, if he got Poland. And when Russia would be well, he'll start a new life. First, he'd try to change his character. He would enter into cooperation with China. Then he must reconcile with Ukraine and try not to offend her again. But what's the most important thing, he should set the relationships right with Lithuania. He should leave Toris alone with Poland, if the nation wants so. And he would stop scaring Lithuania at last. He'll help him to start his own business and wouldn't prevent him. And then he...

Russia lost his mind.

In his dreams, he saw only darkness. But if someone got into his mind, he would see only thoughts of sunflowers. And Ivan himself felt like he was dead.

"Hello, Russia!"

Vanya gave a start.

"Don't worry, it's Estonia! You remember me, da?"

Ivan was so dumbfounded that didn't say a word. The door banged, and Eduard came in.

"You're not well, aren't you? - he continued talking. - Let me see you".

Estonia got closer to Russia's bed and stopped.

"Why is there a bandage on your eyes, Russia?" - he asked and took the bandage off.

An ugly and terrifying sight appeared in front of his eyes, and though Eduard wasn't easily frightened, he became paler.

"Wha! - he cried. What happened to your eyes?"

"They - they were hurt, - проговорить Ivan, жмурясь from pain. - P-p-please, put the bandage on!"

Estonia did so. He noticed some sunflowers of the bed.

"Hm, sunflowers? - he said. - So you're in a warm place with sunflowers at last. You're happy now, aren't you?"

Russia thought for a while and answered:

"Niet".

_**AN: 1 - **A line from Russia´s poem "Eugene Onegin"_

_2 - A famous Russian song_


	11. Chapter 11

_**AN: **__Wow, part eleven! Didn't know I can write such long stories, poor me. I'm staying in Spain right now, so a chapter only once a week, OK? (why am I saying it?) Anyway... Enjoy, __**chicos**__! _

_**Thanks to: **__Several people from my private life._

* * *

Flying above the mountains, Lithuania worried looked from the window, turned his dreamy eyes down the helicopter. The mountains were just a thing to look at, the only subject he thought about was Russia.

"Liet, is that you?" - he heard.

Toris turned his head to the left and saw Poland had opened his eyes.

"Feliks, are you alright?" - asked Lithuania anxiously, putting his head on the other nation's forehead.

"Not quite, - answered Feliks, smiling such a silly smile that you could easily think the person is either ill or mad. - I've got a headache. And what am I doing here?"

"You felt quite bad on America's party, that's why I'm taking you away", - explained Toris calmly, who had already got used to such incidents.

"Where to? To Russia's house, isn't that so?" - smiled Poland again.

Lithuania was shocked.

"Нн-н-нет, - he said, stuttering, - no, that's not what I meant to say. Of course not!"

"Just as I thought, - laughed Feliks strangerly, which made Toris get scared. - Your words betray you. Do you think I'm blind and I don't see it? And, although I was drunk some times ago, I remember about Russia's accident and you. But I don't mind, you know. If you were ill, I would let Ivan take care about you. Besides, I've noticed you like to care about him. You may think that's just the result of my imagination, but I have nearly no imagination, and though I don't show it, I understand everything. The people's feelings are quite close to me, and you're not the only person I knew. You needn't say anything, Liet, it's all clear, though you may deny it. But whatever you think, I love you anyway".

Lithuania sat up in silence, shocked, thinking of what to say.

"Silence, huh? - continued Poland, smiling. - Well, keep silent, if you want too, it will change nothing"

"B-but, - tried to speak the Lithuania, - I... I"

"Don't get it into your head on this and stay calm, Liet, - smiled Feliks. He sat up, because he was lying on the seat, pressed the surprised Toris's body to his own and kissed him. - Now get ready for going, we're landing now. Just give me some tablets at home, and I'll be alright. Don't worry, I can walk myself".

Deeply sunk in his thoughts, Lithuania stood up and went forward fast, quickly thanking the pilot and jumping down.

"I'm cold", - said Ivan suddenly.

Estonia stood up, trying to help Russia.

"Нет, нет, I don't need anything, you may sit, - felt it Russia. - Всё хорошо, Эдуард. Всё хорошо".

"Don't say it in Russian, please, - said Estonia with irritation, - don't make me remember the time I was one with you"

Ivan just icy smiled.

"Was it really so bad?" - he asked.

Strange man, thought Eduard. How can he see everything, but looking he can't?

"Well, not really", - admitted Estonia.

"You know, I don't believe anyone now, - just smiled Russia, - so you're wrong".

"But why? - cried Eduard. - Why can't you be like we are?"

The door opened, and someone out of breath fell on the floor.

Though not seeing, Ivan quickly understood.

That was Toris.

"Hey, Lithuania! - called the newcomer Estonia. - Stand up, please. I'm gonna see Poland, so take care!" - And the nation dissapeared.

"Russia-san, please say something", - asked Lithuania some minutes later. The nation in bed didn't move.

"Come here", - said Russia quietly.

Taking a deep breath, Toris made a step.


End file.
